Saturday, January 26, 2008

"I Want My Mommy"

How does one begin to describe that need in all of us for someone to care for us, to nurture us, to just be there when we need them? It's what being a mother is all about and while I'm a mother, and I work with many, many women who are also mothers, it has occurred to me that we all have times when "we just want our mommy!"

Women seem to be stronger than men and children when it comes to sickness, but even I who am seldom ill, just wish I had someone to totally take care of me once in awhile--usually when I'm home sick with a nasty cold, it's cold and gray outside, and I don't feel like doing anything and no one is around anyway! So, is this a selfish need? Is it a desire for attention?

When I'm sick, I often realize that my whole being is "on empty" and that this is one way to fill 'er up and get back where I can be of use to others. Since my mother passed away over 15 years ago and I can't even call her and sound pitiful, I instead search for other ways to get the feeling of love, warmth and care. I remember some of my favorite foods that nurtured me as a child--like tapioca pudding, chocolate no-bake cookies, and homemade vegetable soup. I curl up with a book to read, take warm baths and write in my journal. I do those things that Mother taught me to do as she did them for me or gave me permission years ago to do them.

And then, I have also learned that tidying up my surroundings will nurture me and somehow helps me regroup both physically and mentally. So, I straighten up, re-do my To Do lists, and clean my kitchen as soon as I feel I can manage that. And finally, when I have that keep inner longing for someone else to nurture me--I let them...the friends who are willing to do that for me. I call them or e-mail them and let them know that they sustain me and that their caring for me matters. Then I complete the circle of mothering by reaching out to others and putting into practice what sustains us all--being a mothering friend to those who are where I was. It's just another example of "what goes around, comes around" and being needy or nurturing--one can get you to the other.

For Mother's Everywhere.

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